Everything Changes, Nothing Changes

It's been about 2 years since I've broken you (the fictional audience) off and from the previous posts it's like nothing changed. The Knicks still have their picture on the side of a milk carton because they are lost. Jets have fragile china back at QB and are totally uneven (losing by 41 to the jags and putting the clamp on NE, what?). The biggest difference there is that the coach no longer looks like he could suit up and fill in on the secondary (but fill in on the Nathan's hot dog eating contest for sure). The Mets, that's another story. Instead of being the poor man's NY franchise (which has been and always will be the Islanders) they are the ascendant kings of NY. The corpulent Yankees may still overshadow them in the press, but those with their ear to the street know that Shea is the fucking jump off (thankfully only for two more years).

The current line up

Knicks=G-Unit
2 dudes who used to have pull but might as well be hung out to dry. Just like your boy 50 needs to be easy and fall back before he is taken any less seriously, Starbury and Franchise need to fade to black. In a strange coincidence, 50 moves away from beef against everything in the universe when starbury stops beefing with Doc Brown. Now they both pout. Both groups also has a lot of bullshit fatties (jerome james, eddy curry/tony yayo) midgets (nate robinson/prodigy, havoc) and bench players everyone is clamoring for but you never get enough of (jamal crawford, david lee, renaldo balkman (i can't fucking believe it)/M.O.P)

Mets=salsa music
Full of energy and distinctly hispanic.

Jets=Southern Rap
Both love the white (pennington/coke-aye-ina), are rarely taken seriously and sneak up on you in the end (Jets make the playoffs?/Jeezy selling multiplatinum?). Also both have mutual love of hoes.

The War Report

I didn't get to see the knicks in their last couple since there is no MSG on the cable here in the heartland. Likewise, no coverage of Gang Green. The Mets, hush, for it is all better left unsaid when it comes to them. Omar and Zeke must be hanging out to come up with the crazy ish that's floating around. So here's the quick hit, bullet point style for your ADHD having ass. To wit:

Jets: I watch the highlights on ESPN and suddenly I'm glad the game wasn't broadcast here (Indiana). The Jets offense, lifeless. Defense, savage. Take it with a grain of salt because it's Zona, but at least one unit is doing it's job. The pass to Santezee was fire, but the defender only had to close his arms a split second sooner and it was a pick. Quincy needs some love from the fans, or so says the NYT, but I think he should be thankful that his ass didn't get booed off the field like Shaun King. I guess that's what you should expect from a state that didn't want to make Martin Luther King's birthday a holiday (jokes!).

Knicks: Tim Thomas catches some feelings about what's been going on in his life. It's tough, for sure, but that 10 million or so you're making should smooth it out. Nope, no it doesn't. But airing it all out to the daily news, that's the type of therapy you can't buy, baby. Before you know it, he's knee deep in buckets. I'm waiting for Starbury to tell all to the Village Voice and score sixty in the coming month.

File Under: Awesome

The fight on friday was what makes the NBA great. In no other sport could the players get to the fans with such ease and grace, which lended some balance to the whole affair. When the Giants got pelted with snowballs, there was little they could do but roll off the field post haste. Artest gets some cold domestic on him, he's ten rows deep before anyone knows what's up. That's when keeping it real goes right, for sure. Artest's CD ships platinum, he cuts another during the suspension and then does a collabo w/ Stephen Jackson, "Best of Both Worlds" style.

The real disgrace in sports is the way the Jets played today. Quincy Carter gets sacked 5 times in the first half? I thought doing rails made you amped and paranoid, so he should have heard the steps and been ready to run, right? He looks lost out there for 90% of the game and then has these moments of clarity where he kills it. He needs to remember what he did at georgia and channel it to the here and now.

Knicks win. Didn't see it, but I like that JC is getting comfortable with Steph. It's good to see that Isiah isn't scared off by the utter failure that is Tim Thomas (who bears an uncanny resemblance to NYC's patron saint P. Diddy) by eyeing up other fool's gold like Eddie Robinson and that tall guy from the Bulls. Getting someone who was waived by the Bulls is like buying meat out of a freezer in the back of someone's pick-up, always a poor decision.

Omar Minaya and Zeke must counsel each other on the finer points of picking up bloated trash and passing it off as good product. Why not save us the grief of getting a corroded, spoiled Sammy Sosa when I hear Cecil Fielder really needs the money these days? I'm sure they're both as mobile in the outfield.